


Alive

by pixihawk



Category: Dangan Ronpa 3: The End of 希望ヶ峰学園 | The End of Kibougamine Gakuen | End of Hope's Peak High School, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Fanart, First Kiss, Fluff, Hajizuru, M/M, Post-Canon, The boys finally talking to each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-02
Updated: 2016-10-02
Packaged: 2018-08-19 03:48:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8188460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pixihawk/pseuds/pixihawk
Summary: “...I am also glad that I didn’t kill you, Hajime.” Nagito interrupted his thought process after being silent for several moments.“Dying in the simulation felt immensely painful. Not the actual death itself but the state of existing and not existing at the same time. I believe that the simulation struggled with our belief to be dead and the need to store parts of our consciousness in the system. I wouldn’t want you to experience that.”
---
Hajime and Nagito never got the opportunity to talk about their feelings after waking up.





	

Everyone was alive.

Hajime never really had the chance to truly understand that fact.

The euphoria of everyone having survived and stopping Mitarai from using the hope video lasted for only a few hours before the cruel reality settled into the survivor's mind. Despair was still rampant in most parts of the world and the destructive force spread over the whole globe left behind a scene of devastation. And while the rebuilding began, the former Remnants of Despair were unable to help as everyone who knew about them also believed that they were the ones behind the Future Foundations killing game. It was a necessary sacrifice but it also effectively forced them into hiding at least for now. It would’ve probably been easier to avoid suspicion if they had split up but somehow that thought never crossed their minds after everything they had been through together.

Their current hideout was an abandoned hospital. Mikan had been ecstatic to discover that most of their supplies were still in good condition.

“Are you alright? Is there anything you need, food, blankets, anything? You know I have the resources to help you discretely.”  
“We are fine, Makoto. Your funds are limited and the rebuild of Hope’s Peak is important.”

Hajime couldn’t help but smile almost unnoticeably at Makoto's worried face on their makeshift video transmitter. Kazuichi had build that one in a matter of a few minutes before leaving Makoto and his friends behind and while Hajime could’ve probably build it himself (and faster too) he had come to appreciate the thought of someone else helping him along. Very likely because of his memories from the Neo World Program.

“You don’t need to worry, I assure you.”  
“Alright. I owe you guys a lot, so it always feels weird not being able to do anything for you...and I am worried about you, Hajime. Are you feeling stressed or-”  
“How is Kyoko?”

Makoto flinched a little at the interruption. This new Hajime could sound so demanding and authoritative whenever he wanted to and it was something both of them were still getting used to. Hajime was just glad that the other one got the hint.

“Oh, yeah. She’s fine. She says we’ll likely reopen the school this time next year! Oh and Byakuya sends his regards. Well, actually he doesn’t, but he asked what you guys were doing and that is basically the same thing for him.”  
“I’m glad.”

“Listen... Hajime-”, Makoto always hesitated when saying his name. “-i have to get going, I think Komaru is calling me on the other line, but I’m still happy to talk to you every now and then.”  
“I feel the same way. Goodbye, Makoto.”  
“Yeah, see you later!”

And with a not very convincing smile as a farewell Makoto ended their call.

The two of them had been making regular calls to check up on the others situation ever since they first met each other in person. However recently Makoto had become way more stressed and worried, probably a side effect of being entrusted the responsibility of headmaster for Hope’s Peak. Still, Hajime was confident the other boy would live up to the task, he had faced far worse opponents.

Hajime put down the video transmitter on his desk, then walked over to the window of his room. It was a former staff member room repurposed to an office for him. Of course they wouldn’t linger to much in the abandoned building but that didn’t mean they couldn’t personalize their new living space somewhat. At least this time everyone had their own room (there had been worse hideouts), except most of them still shared a sleeping space, the time spent with their brains linked together probably bleeding into their current behaviour, reasoned the Izuru part of his mind. The fact that no one but them would understand the pain they’d been through, concluded the Hajime part.

It had been weird for everyone adjusting to their new life. They tried to go back to the way they had been with each other before the brainwashing and mutual killing, yet they also had to live with everything they had done.

At least it seemed that everyone accepted Hajime’s new personality rather quickly even though he could tell they still held their reservations towards him, no matter how friendly and welcoming he was to them and how much their friendship had grown during their time in the Neo World Program. It was a bit awkward in the beginning, no one really knew how to address him until they apparently collectively decided to simply go back to Hajime - just like they had befriended him. And they even accepted Nagito back into their group again as if he had been their best friend all along.

“Hajime? Are you free right now?”

...speak of the devil. Hajime turned around to face the intruder at the door. Nagito waved at him with his good hand, cheerful as ever.

“Is there something you need?”

Nagito closed the door behind himself, his typical smile on his face. Their relationship since waking up had been distanced but friendly so far and yet the other boy was still the same mystery he had always been to Hajime. Whenever they were close to each other, Hajime felt faintly nauseous and it seemed like his thoughts struggled to keep up. He knew the other survivors struggled with this too although they never openly talked about it, but whenever he saw Nagito he couldn’t help but think about her.

“Yes! You see, I’ve been terribly unlucky today…first my hand stopped working all of a sudden…” He held up his left, robotic arm that was apparently motionless and sighed almost dramatically. “...then I hit my head while trying to get the spare parts I keep under my bed just to find out they’ve gone missing and as it happens Kazuichi left for a day trip to scavenge for usable parts in the rabble outside. I know you’re busy, but I just thought perhaps you would lend me your assistance? After all you still possess every single talent, isn’t that right?”

Hajime tried his best not to let the exhaustion he felt after the call with Makoto show.

“Yes, I believe I can help you. Just take off your jacket and sit down over there.”

He pointed at a couch on the far side of the room he had been using as a bed occasionally when he didn’t feel like sleeping in one of the patient's rooms. Those let some painful memories resurface of him in a hospital bed before faceless men would pick him up for surgery. Hajime didn’t know if those were fake memories but they certainly felt real.

Nagito complied instantly, taking off his signature jacket, sitting down on the couch and looking at Hajime expectantly. In that moment it hit Hajime that they had not spent a single moment alone together since waking up.

A weird feeling settled in his gut, making him feel somewhat lightheaded as he walked over to sit down next to the white-haired boy.

“Show me your arm.”

Obediently Nagito stretched out his left arm, his eyes focused intensely on Hajime. It made him feel almost anxious.

“...there is nothing faulty with the arm itself.”, Hajime said after just a quick look at the prosthesis. “...at least nothing I can’t fix in a few minutes. Hold on.”

He got up to get his tools from his desk, Nagito's eyes following him all the way, a smile always on his lips. When he settled back down to get to work, Nagito finally looked away to watch Hajime's hands at work, fascinated like there was nothing more interesting in the world.

Just like he had predicted the arm was fixed after a few minutes and thankfully so. The atmosphere between them felt uncomfortable or at least it did to Hajime.

“Amazing!” Nagito held the arm up into the air, turning his hands and testing the fingers by bending them. “Thank you, Hajime!”

“It was nothing major, just a few circuits cut. Remember that this is not an actual arm, just a prosthesis and a very sensitive one at that.”

Hajime was about to get up to put his tools away again and show Nagito out of the door when a hand settled on his arm with a little pressure, causing him to stop and look at the other one expectantly.

“Is there something else?”

Nagito looked up to him, this time with an expression that took Hajime completely by surprise. It was one that he had never seen on the boy before.

Genuine sadness.

“What is it?”, he asked again, softer this time and sat back down on the couch next to Nagito. No matter what happened between them, Hajime considered them friends and he always cared about his friends when they felt down, even now that the Izuru part of his self told him to leave it be.

“Hajime...I would like to talk to you about something.”, Nagito began, now completely avoiding eye contact.

His manner had changed so drastically that Hajime just silently sat there, unsure of how to react outside of simply listening.

“...I truly appreciate all the work you and Kazuichi have put towards giving me this opportunity…”

He raised the robotic arm as if to admire it.

“...but I simply loathe this terrible thing. It reminds me so much of... her…”  
“Enoshima is dead. Truly and well. Her AI as well. Our thoughts of her.”  
“I’m not talking about Enoshima! Although I hate her with every part of me this isn’t about her.”

Hajime felt taken aback for a moment. And then he scolded himself for being surprised, shouldn’t his analytic skills have prepared him for this answer? Nagito wasn’t angry because the arm reminded him of the reason he lost his limb in the first place? That could only mean…

“It reminds me of Chiaki and how I have failed her. It reminds me of the fact that all of us should be dead, how I wish we all were dead and that she would be here because she is the only true hope amongst us…I tried to save her, you know that, right, Hajime? I killed myself because i thought it would cleanse this world of our despair...”

“Stop.”

“...and it is because of my own failure that we are alive today, instead of her and-”

“Stop!”, Hajime tried again, this time louder.

Thankfully Nagito stopped and looked up to him, a questioning look on his face.

“Am I saying something wrong again? I am trying to apologize, Hajime.”  
“No you are not. This is not what she would’ve wanted. Your plan didn’t fail because of your own doing, it failed because she sacrificed herself for us, because she believed in us!”

He tried not to raise his voice too much but the thought of Chiaki's death sparked an anger and sadness in him he hadn’t felt in a while.

“We are all alive today because she believed that we could save ourselves! She didn’t want us dead, she wanted us to live!”

Nagito stared at him wide-eyed.

“But aren’t you sad she is dead?”

“Of course I am! At times I can’t _think_ because every thought leads back to her and how this all began and ended with her! She loved all of us and that is why she didn’t want any of us to die.” Hajime paused for a moment to calm down. “...she loved you too and you can’t even see it.”

“I am sorry.”

Hajime could feel a warm hand taking his hand, squeezing it softly. It was the most intimate gesture Nagito had ever done to him.

“She meant so much to all of us and I killed her.”  
“I am sure if she were here she would tell you that it is alright and that she forgives you. I think she understood you best of us.”  
“But do you forgive me?”

The hand holding his own squeezed tighter.

“...Yeah, I guess i do. I was so angry at you for so long. But it doesn’t matter. Because everyone is alive and we are all here to remember her.”

Nagito turned a bit on the couch so he could face Hajime and hold both of his hands in his. His eyes lit up in an instant, the sadness falling away from him completely.

“I am glad. I already knew she’d forgive me, I have actually made my peace with that sometime ago, but I was afraid that the hurt I caused you would never heal.”

...of course. Hajime should’ve seen this coming. It seemed like his analytic skills were non existent when it came to the other boy.

While Nagito had calmed down a lot ever since they woke up he still knew how to manipulate a situation to yield exactly the result he wanted. Still, Hajime didn’t feel any anger in that moment, rather something akin to...relief. Yes, Nagito had caused him immense pain but the last time they had talked to each other, he had been cold and distant and to know that Nagito now wanted Hajime to forgive him caused the affection he had always held for the boy to reappear.

Before everything happened during the first killing Hajime had sincerely believed that the two of them could’ve been true friends. In fact the desire to be close to Nagito had never really disappeared, causing him to struggle with himself constantly during the time spent on the island. When Nagito rejected him after learning of his talentless nature, it had hurt him deeply. It was irrational, nothing about the other one gave Hajime a reason to harbor these feelings and yet they were still there.

“...I am also glad that I didn’t kill you, Hajime.” Nagito interrupted his thought process after being silent for several moments.

“Dying in the simulation felt immensely painful. Not the actual death itself but the state of existing and not existing at the same time. I believe that the simulation struggled with our belief to be dead and the need to store parts of our consciousness in the system. I wouldn’t want you to experience that.”  
“It’s over, Nagito. We are alive and what is done is done. I already told you I forgive you.”  
“That is not what I am trying to say to you. Please listen to me, Hajime.”

Hajime felt dizzy. His heartbeat sped up and his stomach hurt with the sudden memory of their last private conversation before Nagito had turned away from him.

Back then he had been so angry with him, implying that he had lied about everything he had revealed about his past and then saying that the only reason he hung around Hajime was the Hope he perceived inside of him that Hajime himself couldn’t even see at that point. But still, something about Nagito had made him feel a strong affection at that moment. It confused him, just like it did now as he wondered why that particular memory resurfaced again.

“What I am trying to say is that I am so happy...happier than I have ever felt before...that we both are alive and together at this point.”

Nagito stared intently into his eyes, his cheeks tinted pink. He seemed almost...nervous.

Hajime could barely hear him at this point with the sound of his heart hammering in his ears.

“I tried to talk to you before. But back then I thought I would die rather sooner than later so it wouldn’t matter if I talked to you. If I am unlucky I may still die tomorrow but i don’t care about that anymore. After that i thought you were talentless and despair but i don’t think i would care about either of those at this point. Pushing you away should’ve felt good but it left me feeling like i wanted to die.”

He took a deep breath, Hajime could feel his hands shake while holding his.

“Hajime, I...think you’re the most important person I have ever met. There is something about you that makes me want to be with you and I think I would like to no longer try and deny that desire-”  
“Nagito, what are you saying?”  
“I am saying that...I would like you to kiss me.”

Oh.  
_Oh._

Hajime could’ve sworn that hearing a question like that would cause his already racing heart to beat even faster but instead it slowed down, as if a weight was lifted from his shoulders and his body could finally relax. Of course he had thought about this before, him and Nagito…romantically. His feelings were much too align to a crush to ignore the possibility. It was just that the circumstances had always kept a distance between the two of them.

For a moment Hajime swore he could see Chiaki out of the corner of his eye, smiling at him.

“Yes, I think that...would be nice.”

It felt awkward to answer like that but the nervousness fell away from Nagito in an instance. Hajime was almost sure that this was the first time he could see his smile also reflected in his eyes.

Before he could even think more on the situation he had found himself in, Nagito leaned forward and closed their distance in a chaste kiss.

It didn’t last very long but the soft press of lips against his own somehow felt more honest than anything he had ever experienced with the other boy before.

Just as Nagito pulled away, Hajime freed his hands of his grip to cup Nagito's face, kissing him again, this time with more pressure. He could feel him smile against the kiss and Hajime's head felt light with the knowledge that he inspired such emotion in him.

This kiss lasted longer and when they finally pulled away it wasn’t awkward or uncomfortable. Nagito seemed calmer than Hajime had ever seen him.

A sudden rush of emotion overwhelmed him and before Nagito could see the tears welling up in his eyes he pulled the other boy close in a hug, burying his face into his neck so the words he muttered next were almost not audible. However he was sure Nagito could understand him perfectly. After everything that happened in the simulation, Chiakis death and the last few weeks spent trying to keep all of them hidden and organizing their disappearance, he felt like right now was the first time he could feel truly happy again.

_“I am so glad you are alive.”_

 

**Author's Note:**

> So... Danganronpa 3 finally came to an end and the last episode was everything we could've dreamed of. I wrote this because i would've loved to see some more interactions between Nagito and Hajime post waking up but it seems like that will be left to the fandom. Also writing and drawing Nagito is always a challenge to me for some reason...
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this and if you would like to see more of my art check out my art blog [nbhawke-art on tumblr!](http://nbhawke-art.tumblr.com/)


End file.
